Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large. 

Dance to the heartbeat

I think I am now able to pinpoint exactly when my anxiety levels are elevated.

It’s in the frequency of heartbeat, and I’ve train myself to feel for it when my heart-rate gets elevated when it really shouldn’t be. The body is pumping additional blood in preparation for potential calamity, even though I’m merely in the simple act of getting ready to leave the house. That’s true anxiety, and it’s a problem I’m working on lately.

The increased heart-rate due to anxiety creates many stress hormones, causing the body to constantly be in a fight-or-flight mode, unable to relax. There’s lots of triggers, though for me it’s primarily the habit of thinking ahead into the future and dreading the negative scenarios or possibilities. Funny thing is, most of the time the bad outcomes I’ve created in my head never come to pass, so I suffer the consequences from being anxious without any benefit whatsoever. I’ve steeled myself for nothing.

Being ‘in the moment’ is tough, and it’s a constant practice. At least now I know how to spot when I am overly anxious: an elevated heart-rate for no tangible reason.

How do you control something as involuntary as the heart? Via something you can control: breathing. Whenever I feel a brash of anxiety hitting me, I go into deep breathing mode: going super slowly with both inhale and exhale. I’d also try to clear my mind and concentrate on the breathing alone. That will usually do the trick to get me back to base-level, though sometimes it doesn’t work, and the anxiety will continue on unabated.

It’s definitely a process.

All that glass and none of the magic.