Gray so gray

The drudgery of summer here in San Francisco have gotten slightly depressive, even for jolly ole me. The western side of the city remains constantly blanketed by a cloud of fog on most days. An unpleasant situation for receiving those mood-positive vitamin Ds from the sun. Even though I’m grateful for the coolness during the night, the grayish overcast during the day can be rather oppressive.

I thought of Conan O’Brien’s sign off during his last episode as host of The Tonight Show. (Shame forever on Jay Leno for forcing Conan out of his dream job.) Despite the clear unfairness done to him, Conan cautioned us to not ever be cynical:

"I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch: please do not be cynical. I hate cynicicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you: amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. It's just true."

It seems every time I get into a bit of a funk, I go back to this Conan quote. Indeed, nobody in life gets exactly what they want. What you thought something would be turns out to be completely different. That girl you like just might not like you back. Where you are right now isn’t where you’d thought just five years ago. But that’s okay. Like Conan says, you just have to be kind, and keep working at whatever it is that you do. Take some risks, make some decisions, and deal with the consequences head on.

What I’m working on these days is being first to communicate. If I encounter something and it makes me think of someone, I try not to hesitate to text that person. Typically, I would be paralyzed with anxiety and simply not make the effort. What if that person finds it bothersome? What if they don’t text me back? What if we haven’t talked in a while, and I come off as weird? I’m trying to fight against that programming.

The point is to let it out into the world. Whether that boomerang comes back is out of my control. Best case, however, it sparks some conversations that otherwise wouldn’t ever have happened - if I didn’t make the effort.

Keep it simple. Stupid.

First time night commute on MUNI

Heading home from work last night was the first time I took the bus this late (I get off at 10:30pm), and I have to say it was not anything out of the ordinary. The only small hiccup is the duration between buses is absurdly long compared to normal commute hours. I thought the app was malfunctioning when I checked schedules on NextBus and saw the next train wasn't for another 25 minutes. Had I drove I wouldn't been home already in that time. 

Fortunately the prolonged intervals is offset by the lack of traffic at that time of the night, so the trains and buses are quite quick. There's immensely less passengers too, which meant fewer stops and pickups. I was amazed that my connect bus got from Balboa Park station to my house in 10 minutes, where it'd normally take 25 minutes when the sun is out. Even with the extended wait times, the trip home last night ended up taking the same amount of time when I worked "normal" hours. 

One negative though is that San Francisco, as famously usual, is bitterly cold at that time of night. Yesterday was no different: (Karl the) fog rolled in heavy and there was an ever so slight of a drizzle; standing at an unprotected bus stop for 20 minutes was not exactly the most comfortable occasion. I think I'll start packing a beanie.

Do I miss having a car, then? The time saved by driving compared to an hour on the train and bus is significant (~45 minutes). However, to achieve my current financial goals I am willing to trade that time for more money. Compared to the fiscal outlay of car ownership, a MUNI unlimited monthly pass is but 78 dollars. There's always UBER if a train never arrives or I really need to get home quickly. 

But let's see how day two and onwards go. 

A train station all to myself.