Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

The never-ending fight

I experienced two firm reminders of our mortality today.

First was a return of a coworker from a month long absence. Turns out he’s got colon cancer. Good news for him, the doctors caught it early and the tumor was successfully removed. Bad news for him, he’s got six months of chemotherapy awaiting him. It’s going to be rough for sure. Imagine losing your appetite completely when what you really need the most is to eat.

The coworker is only in his early 50s. It’s a reminder for me as I near the 40 mark to keep consistent with yearly checkups. And of course, continue on with the healthy eating and weightlifting.

The second was assisting an elder faculty member changing the password to her Mac laptop. I’m sure we all have bad days, but bad enough to where you can’t find keys on the keyboard? Bad enough where you can’t even write down a password on a piece of paper? The lack of normal cognitive function was alarming to see, primarily in concern for the faculty member’s well-being. Those phishing scam callers are rubbing their hands in anticipation.

Self-awareness is difficult when it comes to recognizing your own decline. There will come a day when the amount of weight I put on the barbell will begin going backwards. I hope at that time I will be reasonable enough to not force the issue. In the meantime, the fight against entropy is never-ending - until it does.

Healthy can be cheap

The greatest-of-all-time (GOAT) in terms of comfort food for me has got to be fried eggs. Pair it with some rice and roaster seaweed, and you’ve got the perfect poverty peasant meal. I am lucky to have income above the poverty line, and that combination still remains a constant meal choice for me. Love it.

Whoever said it is expensive to eat healthy is a lie. Rice, beans, and lentils are exceedingly cheap per pound. And it’s got your main three macros covered: carbohydrates, protein, and fiber. Beg at a street corner for a few hours, and you might be able to add an egg or two to that mix.

What does get expensive is variety. No one wants to eat rice, beans, and lentils for three meals a day, every single day, three sixty five days a year. A variety of healthy foods can get pricey. Especially if you’re like me and prefer the nicer kinds of fish (raw salmon is the GOAT), and the most prime USDA cuts of beef. Sweet potatoes are definitely pricer than lentils.

If I were indeed poorest of poor, I’d have no issues eating the same cheap thing for all the meals. Blaming poor health outcomes on the high cost of groceries completely forsakes the agency of a person. Even peasants have choices they can make. Of course it’s tough to eat without variety. I hate it too! But that’s the sacrifice one has to make for the sake of health.

The discipline to eat monotonously also comes in handy whenever I need to enact some austerity into my spending. That’s why eggs, rice, and seaweed will never go out of style for me.

How to avoid the sun

Word on the street is we’re on a tsunami alert!? There’s been a huge earthquake off the western coast of Russia (big wide country, let’s remember), and we’ve got a potential for destructive waves. 8.8 magnitude is quite a massive one, isn’t it? Those of us living on the coastal side of San Francisco are right in the crosshairs.

Thankfully there’s an entire width of the Pacific Ocean to dissipate that energy before it reaches us. Reads like there’s only a potential for waves in the single digits of feet in height for us. That’s nothing to evacuate over. Those are rookies numbers in this racket.

As an avid daily user of sunscreen (for the face), sometimes I wonder jokingly how on earth did people survive before sunscreen was invented back in the 1930s. Obviously, those who are outside a lot developed darker skin. The tanning effect is the body’s natural defense against the harmful UV rays. The most natural of sunscreen, if you will.

Surely people before the 1930s understood to avoid long term sun exposure, or to cover up as much as possible if the long term isn’t avoidable. Long sleeves, hats, face coverings: clothing items we all should still wear in our modern times when we have to be outside during the day. Sunblock or no sunblock.

Ever since I added the UV index reading to my Apple Watch, I’ve been surprised at how high it can get even on a cool and cloudy afternoon (San Francisco in the summer). I guess the bad UV stuff is still doing damage, even if it’s not necessarily strong enough - compared to a blazing cloud-less day - to sunburn the skin.

Lather up, people. Be happy we live on this side of the sunscreen invention. The technology is so good these days that it can feel just like putting on regular lotion: super lightweight, and non-greasy.

Do you even cardio, bro?

A few days ago I did some cardio on the exercise bike for the first time this year.

Let’s just say I really should incorporate cardio back into my exercise rotation. I’ve been so focused on chasing higher strength numbers that I promised myself to get back to cardio after hitting predetermined weight milestones. (Three plates on the back squat for reps, for example.) Priorities, you know.

Obviously, having solid cardio health can be helpful to adding weight on the barbell. Especially for the squat. Heavy squats for 10 plus reps is incredibly taxing - at least for me, an average man of nature. By the time rep eight comes around, I’m having to take extra time between reps, not because my legs are tired, but to catch my breath.

But long cardio session are so boring, no matter if we now have unlimited Internet videos to keep us entertained. Given the choice between cardio and leg day, the latter will always win out for me.

In this current dopamine hamster wheel world of ours, where fast rewards gets rewarded, weightlifting can be very additive indeed. Especially when you first start out. Every new week you’re adding more weight to the bar, or doing more reps than the last. The first time I moved my own bodyweight in pounds on an exercise was like the floodgates opening to a gush of new possibilities. You want to keep going and going until the next milestone, then the next.

What I am trying to avoid is turning weightlifting into my entire personality. It’s tough, because the rabbit hole - as with any other hobby - is deep. I have to remind myself that this is all towards keeping a fit body for as long as possible. Once you get past a certain weight number, anything more is for the ego. At some point I will simply maintain, rather than chase.

Two more months of dry

It is official: I have two more months of Accutane treatment remaining. A blinding light at the end a very dry tunnel. I cannot wait to stop applying lip balm every two hours, and regain the ability to comfortably go outside when it’s sunny. Trading seven long months of monk life for acne-free skin for (hopefully) the rest of life is a fantastic deal.

It was two months ago - month three of Accutane when I largely stopped getting new acne. After that momentous occasion, it’s just a matter of getting enough overall dosage. They use my body weight to calculate, and that’s how we determined there’s 60 more days of medication to go. My understanding is insufficient dosage can lead to relapsing.

I actually don’t mind the lengthy medication period. I am essentially getting pure cocaine-grade retinol, which is fantastic for skin rejuvenation. Those over-the-counter retinol creams might as well be snake oil when compared to isotretinoin. If the side-effects weren’t so severe (and they really warn you against getting/causing pregnant), and the fact you need a prescription, I’d probably take low dose Accutane for the rest of life.

But, normal life must go on. Soon as I am off the drug, I shall add running back to my exercise regiment (I run outside, obviously). My cardio endurance has definitely deteriorated during this Accutane period. I’d run out of breath doing heavy squats before my leg muscles give out. That’s not ideal: you always want the muscle being worked on to be the limiting factor.

Here’s to a swift next two months.

Appointment in Samarra

I have a coworker who doesn’t like the drinking water coming out of a taps on campus. Not even the bottle filling stations where there’s a filter. His explanation is that he ultimately cannot trust the water that are in the (he supposes) old pipes. What does he do to sustain life? The coworker buys bottled water from the campus Peet’s Coffee.

I guess he does not know about the dangers of microplastics. Conventional wisdom is that we should avoid plastics as much as possible when it comes to things that can enter our body. Food and drink containers, specifically. Haven't we stopped leaving the plastic wraps in when we microwave our food?

Sadly, it looks like my coworker is avoiding a (potentially non-existent) harm by embracing another harm. An Appointment in Samarra situation, without the dying.

For a company as successful and beloved as Costco, why is their website and app situation so pitiful? It’s a complete chore to get it to show me whether an item is in stock at a local warehouse. And even if it does show to be in stock, it is not a guarantee to be true. Last week I was looking to buy some fish oil that was on sale, and the two stores I went to that showed to have it on the Costco website, did not. What a royal waste of time that was.

I get it: with all those delicious membership fees that Costco is charging us, what incentive is there to improve online shopping? I’m not sure they feel the need to chase those sales. Besides, the in-warehouse experience is where they can feed us samples to entice us to impulse buy. How many times have we gone to Costco with a list, but came back with twice as many items?

That's my secret

I’ll be honest, it was not a great week for my mental health. And it’s not because of what happened on election night. I think if who the President of the United States is has material affect on how you feel, then it’s time to shift your perspective on life.

What wrecked my mental health this week was my ongoing cycle with the Accutane acne medication. One of the not too common side-effects of the drug is moodiness, a tendency towards quick to angry. I guess I should go buy a lottery ticket, because that uncommon side-effect found me.

In the movie Avengers, Bruce Banner replied with an iconic line when asked to get angry: “That’s my secret Cap’; I’m always angry.” That best explains how I felt this week. Good news is the short temper did not manifest itself to actual adverse action (good thing I don’t have a car commute). Though it’s equally not great that the anger is bottled up inside. I’d be watching a YouTube video, and suddenly felt the urge to throw something at the TV.

Again, it’s good that there were zero execution to those negative thoughts. I definitely do not want to spend the money to replace my LG OLED.

Exacerbating the issue are some small hiccups at work that really is no big deal when you detach from it. But in my ill-tempered condition, those tiny problems became lumbering boulders on my psyche. It can’t be helped: there’s always going to be problems at work. Being on Accutane is only temporary. It’s not like I haven’t been warned that it’s going to suck for the duration.

Better days ahead.