Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large. 

Year of the rabbit

A happy Lunar New Year to those who are celebrating. I had a wonderful dinner this past Saturday with my immediately family, hot pot style. I don’t always go back to my parents’ house for dinner, but when I do, it’s the traditional year-end dinner on the night before Lunar New Year. The dinner symbolizes togetherness, a renewal of familial bonds. It’s practically the Asian version of American Thanksgiving. It’s that important and special.

Of course, there’s money in those little red envelopes for the kids. Imagine getting money from your parents for Thanksgiving? Oh wait, that’s called Christmas.

Unfortunately, the holiday spirit was dampened tremendously on the day of Lunar New Year. Horrific news out of Monterey Park - a predominantly Asian enclave in Southern California - of a mass shooting with 10 people dead. A 72-year old Asian male opened fire into a dance hall Saturday evening, just as folks are gathering to celebrate the incoming new year. That male is now dead, having shot himself after a standoff with police on Sunday.

The sadness and anxiety is through the roof for Asian Americans. We can’t feel safe anywhere. Since the pandemic started we’ve witness massive uptick in armed robbery, elder abuse, and home invasions against the Asian community. With this latest incident, it seems we cannot feel secure even in our community centers, from our own people.

I have latent anxiety for my mom who goes to Chinatown every single week. Nothing has happen thus far, thank god (and knock on wood), but I never feel truly safe about it. There’s no reason that Asian Americans - or any American - have to live like this. What a sad state of affairs.

Pink Floyd-ish.

Starting off correctly

It was a glorious New Year’s Eve watching the annual fireworks show with friends. Naturally that meant I did not get to bed until well into New Year’s Day. No big deal, right? What better way to celebrate switching out the calendars than sleeping in on a Sunday morning. Well-earned rest after some appropriate revels (read: no alcohol involved).

Sadly my mom called me right at 9:00 AM - waking me up unceremoniously - asking why I have not come home for my weekly visit. This, after confirming with her a week ago that I will not be arriving in the usual morning - for the obvious aforementioned reasons. There goes my plan of sleeping well into the morning. A few minutes later after the uninvited wake-up call, a friend’s text came in asking if I would like to run the lake in about two hours’ time.

Since I was not about to go back to sleep - because I likely could not fall asleep again - I agreed to some exercising. Seems applicable, being that January 1st is de-facto national sign up for a gym membership day. I join my fellow citizens on their newfound rigor in hopes of a better and fitter body. Only difference is I’ve been on a fitness bend since my early 20s. I wish the newcomers, fresh from their New Year’s resolution, can sustain their new habit for the very long term.

My own wish for 2023 is one simple thing: live authentically. I endeavor to stop worrying about what others think, and to stop tailoring my actions towards the whims of others. Because 99% of the time, people aren't thinking about me at all. Therefore the problem is only in my head, and highly irrational. I’m going to make mistakes, sure, but whatever I do and whatever I say will be absolutely as I want it to be. I rather hurt your feelings then apologize later, than censoring myself to begin with.

Good luck to us all in 2023.

The seldom perspective.