Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

No silence for the wicked

After the tranquilness of physically being at work yesterday and the absolute silence that comes from being one of the few people there, today was such a dramatic drag. I’m once again back working at home, and the loudness of the neighborhood - and from my family members who are also stuck sheltering at home - is especially grating today. I can practice zen buddhism as much as I can, but some days it’s difficult to ignore the things I can’t control; today, it’s the ambient sounds of where I live.

The kid that lives downstairs from us just so happen to decide that this day would be a good day to ride a super loud motorcycle around the neighborhood. Lovely.

Peace and quiet is what I want, is that too much to ask? Some days I am this close to risking it all and moving myself to the middle of nowhere out in the woods, to find my own version of Walden pond. I would gladly swap the sounds of city-life for the sounds of nature; the former can be hugely grating, and the latter is evergreen serene until eternity. What it must be like to be able to finish a thought without yet another car driving by with its stereo blaring way too loudly. I’m not annoyed most days - I wouldn’t have been able to live here for nearly twenty years if it did - but some days it’s simply impossible to keep a clear mind and focus.

How am I suppose to be meditative under such annoyance?

What does help to refocus the mind and keep calm is to remember that there are others out there who has it worse than me, that their surroundings is magnitudes more difficult than the mere noise pollution that I’m experiencing. Commiseration - even if it’s imagined - helps also: surely I’m not the only one who is bothered by the loud motorcycle whizzing by when the kid is riding it over the many streets of the neighborhood. It’s suddenly not so bad when I realize it’s not only me who is suffering.

This too shall pass, and as it always is with mental health, it’s a constant work in progress.

Aren’t you lucky, not having to deal with an hyperactive mind of a human.

I'm heading out

Some days it’s nice to simply get out of the house.

Today was one of those days where I had to physically go into work, and I have to say I quite enjoyed it. Routines are nice, but sometimes it’s cool to break it up and do something different. Who knew that actually going to campus for work would be the thing that is out of the ordinary, but such is the time that we are living right now. Of course, it’s a blessing that I get to drive my brother’s car for the commute, rather than take public transport; it probably wouldn’t be enjoyable at all if I had to slog it with the masses on the bus.

Nothing against buses, but you really cannot do social distancing inside one.

It is eerie indeed to be one of the few people on campus, a sort of silence that even during the breaks between semesters you wouldn’t find. Picture an entire floor of the library building, and it’s just me, my supervisor, and the attending security guard. Everything seems to be in suspended animation, other than the few items I interact with. It sounds a bit perverse, but it’s as if Thanos did the snap, and I’m amongst the few survivors combing through everything that’s been left behind. The coworkers that I’m used to interacting with have seemingly vanished.

On the other hand, I also like the silence very much. Where I live it’s not the quietest street in the world, and sometimes it’s difficult to concentrate on my third-floor room that faces the road. On campus - with almost everyone gone - it’s far easier to keep focus, and not be momentarily annoyed at the car driving by that’s playing music at the volume level of a rock concert. I know I shouldn’t let such a trivial and uncontrollable things distract me, and I really try not to, but to be in an environment where I know for sure that no such mental intrusion will ever occur, the mind is that extra bit calmer.

I reckon physically going to work once a week is a good thing for the mind.

What second wave?

So, the coronavirus is gone now? Everything can go back to normal?

That is of course an absurd thing to say, because even after over three months of lockdown, the number of new COVID-19 case are not going down. We don’t have to worry about the “second wave” later this year because the first wave still hasn’t ended! (Genius!) And to think that San Francisco - and California - is going ahead with reopening plans; as much as I really want to have a meal at a restaurant with my friends, right now is still seems far from the ideal time to do so. You’d hope to at least see a statistically significant dipping trend in new cases first.

We are so not there yet.

I think we are absolutely playing with fire with the protesting that’s been happening all around the country. This is not to disparage against the message of the protests; the fact it has to happen during this crazy time of quarantine is such an unfortunate coincidence. This many people clustered together cannot be a good thing for stopping the virus spread, no matter if people are wearing masks. Because if the opposite is true, then we wouldn’t have had to majorly shutdown for three months, and my friend’s wedding isn’t getting postponed.

Again, it has to be said I greatly support the message of the protests, and if the negative consequences towards potentially prolonging the COVID-19 pandemic is a necessary cost to move this country forward, then so be it. But then cities will have to allow other gatherings as well, because on a base level it’s super unfair to (for example) the person who just lost a grandparent and is prohibited from holding a proper ceremony with attending family and friends. I don’t think it’s right to be selective about what gatherings are allowed; there’s no rational explanation - the coronavirus doesn’t discriminate.

If protests must happen, then you might as well open back up other gathering opportunities as well. Whether or not people will actually go to those things is another matter, but it’s wrong to forbid a gym from opening when there are people protested down the street.

I bought something

Well, I did it! It took three months, but I finally made a superfluous purchase since the COVID-19 lockdown began in March. With so much economic uncertainty in the air, I was in absolute savings mode from the very beginning, hoping that I wouldn’t need that money, but it would be a lifesaver if I do. Other than the standard amount of bills that never seems to go away (hello, Porsche), I spent as little money as possible on extraneous things. I did make a point to support my local restaurants by ordering out more frequently than I ever had before.

But enough virtue signaling; with some money burning a hole in my savings account, the itchy shopping fingers are always on active duty. I would be lying if I said I didn’t peruse the Internet for things to buy, from yet another set of headphones, all the way to a whole entire car (a used 2016 Mazda Miata Sport, please). Lucky for me I didn’t pull a trigger on any of it, until yesterday afternoon when a creator I’ve been following for the longest time offered a set of prints for sale on his storefront. As a self-proclaimed artist myself, it’s a mission of mine to support fellow artists that I like.

Joey Lee’s brand - The Chronicles - of automotive storytelling is something I’ve kept tabs on for over a decade now. He combines together the three things I like most: cars, writing, and photography. I really admire his endeavor of striking out and finding his own freelancing niche; as someone who has to answer to corporate overlords, it’s a sort of example of what my life can look like if I ever had the balls to do the same. But then I would surely have to sell the GT3, which as of right now is not something I can remotely entertain; I am still madly in love with that car.

Anyways, Joey threw up a set of prints up for sale, and a particular one that caught my eye is of a Honda Civic hatchback doing a night blast on the freeways of Osaka. Not a day goes by that I’m not nostalgic about my trip to Japan from last summer, so having the print up on the wall will be a nice reminder and inspiration. The problem then becomes, are frame places even open during these times?

Another Apple switch

I can still remember way back when Steve Jobs announced that Apple is transitioning from the PowerPC to Intel processors. Back in 2005, I wasn’t quite the Apple product evangelist as I am now, so my initial reaction was one of fancying the idea that I can finally run Windows on a Mac. Even in those days, Apple had the edge over PC makers in terms of aesthetics and build quality (titanium Powerbook, anyone?), but the Mac lineup was woefully underpowered compared to the PCs I can build running on Pentium processors. The switch to Intel allowed me to finally seek out a Mac computer, and during my second year of college in 2007, I bought my first Macbook.

Funny enough, to this day I’ve yet to run an instance of Windows on any of my Apple computers. I didn’t know it in 2005, but MacOS (or OS X as it was then called) offers a vastly superior experience to the Microsoft operating system.

These days, strong rumors are circling around that during this year’s WWDC, Apple will announce a transition to the ARM architecture for its Mac, a seismic shift similar to the change to Intel some 15 years ago. Who could’ve thought that Intel will suffer the same fate as the PowerPC, and become abandoned by Apple because of failure to innovate at as quickly as Apple wants. Apple’s engineering on the ARM processor for its illustrious iPhones and iPads have so surpassed Intel’s development on their own chips that Apple seems to have finally pulled the plug on the partnership - it sees no future with the chipmaking icon.

Especially not when Apple’s own A series chips are soundly beating Intel processors in synthetic benchmarks, and for a fraction of the costs, one presumes (vertical integration and whatnot).

What a time to be alive that I get to witness another revolutionary switch to the Mac architecture. It will be interesting to see how Apple will handle the change from the x86 instruction set to ARM. If history is anything go by (hello, headphone jack), legacy apps are going to get swiftly left behind with no mercy. However, I reckon software makers are quite ready for the transition, because so many are already used to coding for the iPhone platform that’s been on the ARM architecture for over a decade. Surely Apple will do the most to help make the conversion to ARM as quick as possible. I bet when the first Mac is released with Apple chips, there won’t be an emulator for x86 apps in MacOS.

MacOS running on ARM; imagine that!

Steering feel is important

Today was a rare day (during these times) I had to physically go to work, so I borrowed my brother’s car for the commute. With COVID-19 still running wild in these streets - despite what the massive protests may look like - I was not about to get on a bus full of people. Nothing again the people on buses; you simply can’t properly socially distance inside one. Even UBER or LYFT isn’t that safe, since you’ve no idea who the previous riders are, if they’re asymptomatic of the coronavirus or not. I think those of us lucky enough to have a choice of commuting with a private car are going to opt for that over the other options for the foreseeable future.

Had my brother not gotten laid off from his job due to the quarantine and therefore leaves behind a car for me to drive, I probably would have purchased another car by now to get me to work.

His car is a lovely Audi A3, 2018 edition, which honestly is a bit of a letdown compared to my weekend toy of a 911 GT3. Granted, I’m not a snob about these things: cars serve a purpose, and for the tasks of getting you from point A to point B, dull and boring is quite okay. So long as the car is a comfortable place to be, which is the A3 is. What I can’t overlook however - as soon as I turned the wheel around the block - is how awfully numb the steering is. There’s almost no feedback, as if I’m controlling the car like one does in a racing game with a wheel controller. I think my family’s Hyundai Tucson has more steering feel than the A3, which is a great shame.

Not even superb Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tires can save the experience.

Of course, I’m merely nitpicking here, because as a commuting tool the Audi A3 suffices perfectly. If it were my own money, I’d probably get something with slightly more feel in the steering. It doesn’t have to drip with feedback like the rack in the 911 GT3, but I would prefer at least some sensation on what the front-end is doing at a given time. Barring a reputation for good steering feel, my next car purchase for a daily-driver - should it come to that - must involve a test-drive. Numb, lifeless steering is probably a deal-breaker.

If a Hyundai SUV can provide some semblance of feel, other cars and manufacturers really don’t have an excuse.

The ultimate driving

It was the best drive I’ve had in a very long time.

This past Sunday, it was time once again to take the 911 out for a spin. It’s been an entire month since I last moved it - due to the COVID-19 lockdown situation - so it was somewhat overdue for a bit of mechanical warmup and battery charging. Of course, in typical German fashion, the Porsche started right up on the third spin of the starter motor. The exterior that hasn’t been washed since the February is decidedly dusty now, but as they say, you can’t see the outside once you are sat on the inside.

For some reason, this particular drive was extra good. In recent weeks, it feels as if there’s been a weight taken off me, a part of an ongoing practice of being in the present. There’s been a breakthrough of sorts that allowed me to let go of something that’s been subtlety bothering me for the longest time. Freed from those burdens, I was able to concentrate fully on simply driving the 911, rather than having a thousand other thoughts running through my mind. I rediscovered what a joy and privilege it is to be able to own a sports car of this caliber; the scent of the leather, and the tactility of the controls.

Even though the San Mateo mountains were teeming with outdoorsy folks enjoying a sunny weekend, and the roads were mired with more traffic than usual, it didn’t dampen the spirit of the drive any less. I was so completely focused on interacting with the car that it didn’t matter I wasn’t able to go the speeds a car enthusiast would prefer. The bliss was purely from being there driving, and going nowhere in particular. With music playing on the stereo in the background to accompany the sweet engine noise, it was calm and meditative experience. I can still feel the euphoric glow as I’m typing this a whole day after.

Being utterly present in the moment and letting go of things that don’t matter is such a powerful practice.