Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

It's not on me

There’s a huge burden that comes with being the son of immigrants. I was basically the conduit between my parents and the English-speaking world as soon as I had an elementary grasp of the language. That means I got thrust into interpreting the adult world well before I was supposed to; interactions that few other kids would experience. They get to go to McDonalds and wait for the food. I had to go to the counter to order.

With that kind of childhood comes a psychosomatic duty to help my parents that lasts to this day. Even when I am no longer needed or there’s really nothing for me to do. Since I’ve moved out, it is my younger brother who lives with my parents. It’s up to him now to assist them with any English-language needs. I’m supposed to be relieved of duty, living my own life. I’ve long already put in the work.

Yet these days when I see my parents having difficulties navigating American society, I still experience stress on their behalf. As if I must to be there to make things right for them, even when things are beyond my control. Because that was me - and only me - for the greater part of my childhood and early adult life. They work so hard to immigrate to this country and give me a different life. I just don’t want to see them suffer unnecessarily.

I think I have to learn to let that feeling go. My brother is a capable and can take care of anything that comes up. There are and will be problems that’s not up to me to solve. It’s not helpful to be stressed over them. Everything can and will be alright without me.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

Everything Everywhere All at Once is the multiverse done correctly! I am so glad I watched it after seeing Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Because had it been reserved, I would have been sorely disappointed at the multiverse treatment in Doctor Strange. Everything Everywhere All at Once is a masterpiece in storytelling, weaving a first-generation Chinese American story into an allegorical tale about the meaning of life.

The film is surprisingly nihilistic! I did not expect to find the positive interpretation of Nietzsche in this movie, one I resonate with profoundly. Because “nothing matters”, we are then free to do anything we want to. A nihilistic view of the world provides the proper perspective for me. The little annoyances of everyday life simply disappear. The big challenges get tackled with a clear mind and plenty of courage. Setbacks and tragedies cannot hurt me: because none of it matters.

This juxtaposes the common view of nihilism: because nothing matters, why try at anything? It’s a defeatist attitude that I am completely against. But whenever I bring up Nietzsche in polite conversation, that’s the reaction I get from people. Something tells me they aren’t ready to accept their ultimate cosmic insignificance. The daughter in Everything Everywhere All at Once explains to the mother that this moment, our lives, is but a spec of dust in the grande scheme of universal time.

Alongside the nihilistic theme is a Chinese American story. An overbearing mother, yearning to undo the mistakes of her parents, creates a monster of a daughter? Most of us first-generation Chinese American kids can relate to that. This is the sort of representation in film that we would want to see: how to tell an Asian American story, without telling an Asian American story.

Everything Everywhere All at Once had better receive some Oscar nominations. Otherwise, it’s AAPI hate!

When it works

Dehumidifiers are awesome. I run a tiny one in my bathroom to keep down the moisture. Every few days I would check the reservoir and it’s always amazing to see there’s water collected. I don’t pretend to know or care how exactly does a dehumidifier work to suck water out of the air. All I know is this little thing I bought from Costco nearly a year ago have continued to work magnificently, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Not bad for a $40 dollar thing that’s made in China.

I do love it when a product does its designated function well. Unfortunately I cannot say that for my LG OLED TV. Indeed it puts out an exquisite picture: 4K HDR content looks spectacular on it. However, there’s one big annoyance: the TV’s underlying operating system is absolute garbage. It’s so slow and unreliable that I wonder if LG really want people do use their native OS! I am this close to getting a Google Chromecast or an Apple TV device.

The interface’s slowness I can somewhat deal with. Once a show gets going, the issue becomes unobtrusive. What I cannot tolerate is getting unceremoniously kicked out of the app I’m currently using. I would be watching a Youtube video and then suddenly I’m back out to the no input selection screen. With zero warning! How did LG screw this up so badly? Did they blow the entire budget on the display itself? I mean, it is a super gorgeous display!

I think this will be one of the quality-of-life- annoyances that it would be best to just throw money at it and fix once and for all. Instead of death by a thousand cuts. Apple TV puck here I come!

Two a days

When you’re training with a friend for a 10K run, and also going swimming with another friend to keep him consistent, sometimes you have to do both on the same day. That was precisely my scenario this past weekend. I ran about four miles in the morning, then did 15 laps at the local pool in the afternoon. A day of pure, unadulterated cardio. I practically did two out of a three events that make up a triathlon. And if I owned a bike, I probably would have done the third just to feel more fantastic.

The best part about working out that much in one day is of course the food afterwards. That’s certainly why I work out: to eat slightly unhealthily and still be okay. The aesthetic stuff is just a bonus. How else can I eat a KFC three-piece box meal without any guilt? It’s even better when you get to share the meal with the buddy you exercised with. Bonding over food and endorphins.

It is said that working out with someone keeps them accountable, but I disagree. Ultimate motivation still has to come from within. Having a friend there may keep you consistent for a few weeks, but for the long haul it’s up to you to sustain that consistency. When has telling a fat friend they need to exercise and eat better ever worked? They don’t need to be reminded of something they know innately. I’ve seen even the encouragement of a dearest spouse cannot force a person to change.

Which is kind of sad because it usually takes a health scare to create the impetus. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be big: many many years ago my doctor told me I was on the verge of high blood pressure. That was enough to get me on the path to healthy diet and working out. I hope no one ever needs to hear that they won’t live to see their children graduate college to get off their butts.

Daydream daydream

Shoutout to the person in Illinois who won last Friday’s Mega Millions jackpot worth $1.3 billion dollars. Your life will be irrevocably changed. For the better or worse? Only time will tell. Or maybe that person won’t come forward to claim the winning ticket, and we get to do this all over again. Joining in lottery pools with friends and coworkers for those impossible odds at winning.

Obviously, the fun is in the duration between purchasing the tickets and the numbers being picked out of a tumbler (do they still do that?) Let the daydreaming begin! What would you do with that sudden infusion of an enormous amount of cash? I would be able to finally afford a house in San Francisco! Though more than likely I’d probably prepare a move back to Asia. I am so done with the guns and violent crime of this country.

Amongst my friends, we reckon we wouldn’t stop working. A life of pure leisure leads to a quick death. We got to have something that gets us out of bed every morning. With the hypothetical lottery winnings in our bank account, we get the option to work on what we want. We’re no longer beholden to our current jobs for sustenance and health insurance. That’s the kind of freedom those in the FIRE community seek: the “F U” money.

I think the lottery daydream exercise can be instructive on informing us what we truly want. And perhaps it wouldn't necessary need millions in the bank account to execute on. A friend said with his hypothetical winnings, he would quit his software engineer job and go freelance to work on projects that inspire him. I would say he doesn’t need to win the lottery to get started on that. Sure, it’s a risk to leave a steady paying position, but we’ve only got this one life, my friend.

And I’m saying that for me, too.

Riding on rollerblades

About a year ago at work, our office chairs got reupholstered. A coworker made sure that his chair did not get lost in the shuffle - the one he parts with is the one he is to get back. It was easy enough: that chair has a feature distinct from the rest. Instead of the typical plastic casters the rest of our chairs have, the coworker’s chair has rollerblade wheels. On first impression, it looked completely weird. Can it even move properly?

I filed it to the back of my mind, chalking it up as a funky quirk of the coworker. The original casters on my chair works just fine!

Recently, however, I stumbled upon a tweet from someone I follow. He mentioned rollerblade wheel upgrade for office chairs, and how it is an excellent quality of life improvement, especially for work-from-home folks. The link to the Amazon page reveals a surprisingly low cost. For about $40 dollars, anyone can upgrade the casters on their chairs. I was intrigued, not by the promised benefits, but the price! It’s cheap enough to give it a go.

Performing the upgrade is super easy: the standard casters literally pop right off from the chair. The rollerblade wheels then pop right in. In less than a minute, I was done. I do suggest wearing gloves, because grease and dirt will get onto the hands.

I should have done this way sooner! Rollerblade wheels are such a revelation. Not only does my Herman Miller Aeron rolls incredibly smoothly, it’s also far quieter than before. I can glide from one end of the room to the other with minimal noise. The product claims it’s kinder to the floors, too, though my plastic laminate flooring didn’t suffer under the plastic casters. So I can’t confirm that part.

I’m going to ask at work if they can buy me a set for my office chair.

Get the good rice

As someone who lives alone and only has to cook for himself, I have no problems spending more for the good stuff when it comes to groceries. Milk from organically grass-fed cows. Eggs from free-ranging, organically-fed chickens. Kimchi imported from South Korea (available at Costco, surprisingly). My philosophy is: we’re eating to keep alive, so it makes sense to put the best in our body.

Obviously it’s a different calculation if I had a family to feed. Then it’s five dozen super non-organic eggs for five dollars at Costco. The free-range stuff I mentioned earlier? Five dollars can’t even pay for the single dozen.

Anyways, I eat rice for dinner almost everyday. My favorite kind is Japanese short-grain: fluffy, moist, and a distinctive taste. Recently I decided to go big and buy Japanese rice that’s produced in Japan. Most of the stuff available at supermarkets is actually grown right here in California. Those suffice just fine, but surely Japanese soil, sun, and water make even better rice. You certainly have to pay for that privilege: my 11-pound bag was nearly $40!

Again, I wouldn’t do this if I had more than me to feed!

As suspected, the made in Japan rice has a distinct flavor that is absent from the California-grown. I could eat just the rice with some roasted seaweed and nothing else. The rice is the star of the show, rather than something you must pair with another dish to eat. If you’re a rice enthusiast like me, then I highly recommend you try a bag of imported Japanese short-grain. Get it at your local Asian supermarket.