Blog

Short blog posts, journal entries, and random thoughts. Topics include a mix of personal and the world at large.

Man maths

10 days into the new year - have I already failed in the mission for austerity? Readers of this blog knows I am on the hunt for a new Honda Civic Type R. That means adding another car to the one I already have - a not-so-cheap to own BMW M2. Obviously that’s going to be quite a chunk of additional borrowing, and an increase in ancillary costs such as gas and insurance.

That is, if a dealership would even sell me a Civic Type R for a reasonable price.

Us car guys like to perform what we call “man maths”: a euphemism for convincing ourselves that we can overextend the budget to afford a certain car (or more). So I did my due diligence on the plan to buy the Civic. And what do you know: I can afford to have a second car, though I wouldn’t classify it was comfortable. I would essentially be “car poor”, which for a car enthusiast is probably not the craziest thing. What’s the meaning of life but to find the one passion and pour everything into it?

At least I won’t be in the negative, so to speak. I’ll just owe a bank a lot of money.

Alas, my Asian upbringing is convincing me otherwise. Buying the Type R would remove any cushion I have for other things. As of right now I would rather build up that buffer instead of immediately dropping another bag of money. This after a 2022 of somewhat heavy spending; I really need to bump up my monetary reserves. The second car will have to wait. It can still happen, just not right at this moment.

I think patience here is going to serve me well.

Rejected too few

Getting rejected sucks. Even when the situation is one where I fully expect to get rejected. My particular human psychology just isn’t built-up to deal with this kind of failure. It’s as if each successive rejection is a direct reflection of my personhood, a character flaw. How can rejection affect me so adversely even with the proper amounts of anticipation? Perhaps I’m indeed too invested in what others think of me.

Yesterday I made an offer on a car at a local dealership. It was soundly rejected, obviously, which put me in a sort of funk the rest of the day. I can’t really explain it. It was textbook negotiation: two parties can only agree to move on from the table. But then why do I feel so bad? I don’t think I put undue anticipation, hopes and dreams, towards my offer being accepted. It was just taking a shot: the answer is always no if I don’t ask.

Thinking back, I’ve always had this neuroticism. Back in my schooling days, I would dread getting English papers back from the teachers. Invariably their remarks and criticism would hurt me to the core. I was rather happy to be done with English classes after freshman year of college. Instead, I do my writing here in this blog. Where it’s safe from criticism (readership is minuscule, no one comments!), and I can commit all the subject-verb tense error I am wont to do.

Moving forward I think it’s helpful to get rejected. It’s good practice, and unless I plan to stay in my hole for the rest of time, it’s going to happen anyways. I need to learn to handle the afterwards better, to be able to move on quickly. It’s a part of what I’m trying to do in 2023: live authentically, and not care about what other people think.

The best MacBook Air

I think I’ve found the perfect writing instrument: a 2015 11.6-inch MacBook Air.

I use to have one back in the day. Until I unceremoniously left it in a bin passing through TSA checkpoint at San Francisco International. I probably should have gone back after my trip to claim it at the lost and found, but I was far too cavalier with money in my 20s. Lost a thousand dollar notebook? No big deal, I’ll just buy another one.

And I did. In came a Microsoft Surface Pro 4, a device I hardly ever used and sold it a few years later towards buying an iMac.

Thanks to work, I recently came into a used unit of the 11.6-inch MacBook Air. This particular one even beefier than my lost poverty-spec version: a maximum 4 GB of memory and 256 GB of storage, a tremendous premium back in 2015. At 2.36 pounds, it’s the second lightest Mac laptop ever, behind only the retina screen 12-inch MacBook introduced in 2015. That one weights just two pounds, but has a huge fatal flaw: the god-awful “butterfly” keyboard.

In contrast, the keyboard on the second-generation MacBook Air might be the best Apple has ever made. Full keys with appropriate height and travel. The smaller 11.6-inch unibody aluminum chassis - compared to the larger 13-inch version - offers a wonderfully strong deck with almost zero flex. It’s perfect for someone like me who strikes super hard on the keys.

A laptop from 2015 is decidedly obsolete for anything but word processing and light internet browsing. This is why this 11.6-inch MacBook Air is perfect for purely writing. There isn’t anything else to distract me! The screen is so relatively small I’m not even tempted to fire up YouTube on Safari. I wrote all 3,500 words of my 2022 reflections post using the laptop. I intend to use it for all long form stuff going forward.

Batten down the hatches

It’s funny how events repeat themselves. This time last year we were precautiously sent home from campus due to the raging omicron COVID variant. In 2023, we’ve also been sent home during the first week of January, but for a different reason. During New Years Eve, the San Francisco Bay Area experienced heavy rainfall, leading to multiple cases of flooding. Well, today marks the beginning of another round of storms. With the ground already saturated from the rain four days ago, the results are not going to be pretty.

Obviously it’s plenty safe to actually be on campus. It’s getting there and back that’s the problem. The commute today is going to suck really bad, so best for those with a long commute to stay home (my guy with a ferry ride across the bay is happy to not have to do that). San Francisco State is not the only campus to ask staff to work-from-home if possible the next few days. I’ve got friends at other universities in the area with the same directive. If you have the privilege to stay home, do so.

The real MVP during these times of severe weather are the folks who have to be outside. Shoutout to the mail carriers and package couriers still striving to get packages to us. Shoutout to the food delivery drivers getting food to us from restaurants. Shoutout to the first responders clearing road hazards and making sure things are as safe as possible. Modern society would not be possible without these heroes. The rest of us who Zoom’ed our way through the pandemic should count our lucky stars.

That said, I’m going to be watching the mayhem from the comfort of my room window this entire day. And praying nothing foul lands on and damages my car. 40 miles-an-hour winds are no joke!

This could be the last time

It only took the second day of 2023 to remind us just how fragile life is.

I was watching the Monday Night Football game between the Cincinnati Bengals versus the Buffalo Bills. Midway through the first quarter, Bills safety Damar Hamlin collapse on the field after a play. Medical personnel performed CPR for seemingly 15 minutes. Hamlin left the field in an ambulance, which is something I’ve never seen before in all my years of watching the NFL. After much hemming and hawing from the league offices, the game was rightfully postponed. The players and football fans caring only about the well-being of Hamlin.

Found out this morning that he suffered a cardiac arrest, and is still in critical condition at a Cincinnati hospital. I join everyone else in praying heavily for the man.

During the hubbub of last evening, I received the tragic news of Ken Block’s passing. In an apparent snowmobile accident, it seems Ken went out the way he would’ve wanted - shredding on a machine and having loads of fun. Block was an enormous figure in the automotive game, leveraging the money he made from founding DC Shoes to do all the rad stuff he wanted: rallying, gymkhana, Youtube channels, building cool cars, to name just a few. Ken lived a life of a true petrol-head, inspiring and entertaining millions.

A hearty rest in peace to the Head Hoonigan in Charge.

Tell people important in your life you love them. Be sure to have a bit of fun every single day. Because the world will keep reminding us that there might not be a next time. Take care.

Starting off correctly

It was a glorious New Year’s Eve watching the annual fireworks show with friends. Naturally that meant I did not get to bed until well into New Year’s Day. No big deal, right? What better way to celebrate switching out the calendars than sleeping in on a Sunday morning. Well-earned rest after some appropriate revels (read: no alcohol involved).

Sadly my mom called me right at 9:00 AM - waking me up unceremoniously - asking why I have not come home for my weekly visit. This, after confirming with her a week ago that I will not be arriving in the usual morning - for the obvious aforementioned reasons. There goes my plan of sleeping well into the morning. A few minutes later after the uninvited wake-up call, a friend’s text came in asking if I would like to run the lake in about two hours’ time.

Since I was not about to go back to sleep - because I likely could not fall asleep again - I agreed to some exercising. Seems applicable, being that January 1st is de-facto national sign up for a gym membership day. I join my fellow citizens on their newfound rigor in hopes of a better and fitter body. Only difference is I’ve been on a fitness bend since my early 20s. I wish the newcomers, fresh from their New Year’s resolution, can sustain their new habit for the very long term.

My own wish for 2023 is one simple thing: live authentically. I endeavor to stop worrying about what others think, and to stop tailoring my actions towards the whims of others. Because 99% of the time, people aren't thinking about me at all. Therefore the problem is only in my head, and highly irrational. I’m going to make mistakes, sure, but whatever I do and whatever I say will be absolutely as I want it to be. I rather hurt your feelings then apologize later, than censoring myself to begin with.

Good luck to us all in 2023.

We got the slow shipping

As an avid purveyor of books, I greatly prefer the feel of actual pages than the digital equivalent. Therefore I buy physical copies on Amazon, instead of opting for the Kindle version. The latter is likely kinder to the environment, but the analog texture and smell is worth the sacrifice of a few trees. Besides, I don’t want to give Amazon even more information than I already am: the company is not getting my highlights and reading patterns. It only knows what genre of books I tend to purchase.

In the effort offset some of the environmental impact, I buy used books whenever possible (unless the price difference between new and used is negligible). The downside of this is that shipping takes forever. I am so used to stuff arriving from Amazon in two days (Prime shipping!) that something taking more than two weeks feel downright archaic. Books would show up to my surprise that I had bought it in the first place. Multiple times lately I thought the item for sure got lost in the mail.

It is a busy time for shipping, after all. Everyone is trying to get their holiday shopping in. Amazon managing its own shipping supply chain is a massive advantage over its competition. You’re not handing off a package to Fedex and praying it’s able to keep its delivery timeframe promise. And as a customer, who can you trust but Amazon, when you’ve procrastinated until the last minute to buy presents? It’s far easier to get refunds too should an item arrive late, not that you should abuse this.

What Amazon should offer is the ability to read the Kindle version of a book, until the physical copy I bought actually arrives. That would be so clutch. I’d even buy a Kindle device just for that purpose. Anyone got a line to the current Amazon CEO?