Burdened with perfectionism

Amazon’s The Grand Tour is back with a new series and three new hosts. I have to say that despite the abundance of quality automotive content on YouTube, there is simply no replacement for one thing: cinematography budget. We watch The Grand Tour because it showcases cars in an insanely beautiful way that only a small army of cameramen and support staff can deliver. YouTuber with a consumer drone can create a suitable TEMU facsimile, but are they going to wait hours for the correct sunsetting light for that perfect shot?

Probably not.

The Grand Tour - and the many Youtube channels that do similar content - is proof definitive that cars are meant to be driven and used. Provenance isn’t how much money the owner spent on maintenance. It’s what sort of roads the car has traveled to. What sort of story a particular scratch on the front quarter panel has to tell. A winning race car with many hours of accumulated dirt and scraps on the painted surface is immensely more interesting than the exact car fresh out of the factory. Because it has done something.

Super low mileage museum pieces are a one-trick pony. A time capsule showing a moment in time - when the car was new. There no further story to tell.

But if you’re afflicted with obsessive compulsive behavior like me, it can be very difficult to do things with your cars. Each additional mile, each additional round of maintenance, opens up opportunity for something to get blemished. Something to go wrong. A scratch on the interior plastic pains us deeply. God forbid we curb an alloy wheel - there will be no sleep that night. The peasant amongst us can’t afford to throw money at the problem, either. Paint protection film? I don’t have another $5,000 on top of the price of the car just to protect it from nature.

Of course, perfectionism has its advantages in other domains. Our attention to the details is how we got/get ahead in the workplace. Those of us in the perfectly circular Venn diagram of OCD and car enthusiast need a way to turn down the perfectionism when it comes our automobiles. When cars get used - as well they should - the scars will come. Tackling a first-time project like replacing a glovebox? There’s a good chance something will get mangled. It’s all part of the game.

We should still very much care about the process: of doing things meticulously, and not taking shortcuts. What we shouldn’t do is to let adverse outcomes cripple us from doing anything in the first place. Because we want to have stories to tell.

View fullsize

In nomine Patris.

The final tour

The Grand Tour (this iteration, anyways) has come to an end. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May have done their final motoring program after two decades of collaboration. An absolute end of a glorious era. Their final episode - aptly titled One for the Road - is up to the usual standards: spectacular cinematography, mixed in with many pre-planned ridiculousness.

It’s a firm reminder that things change, and things come to an end. Nothing is static, good or bad. In a (fake) ideal world, car enthusiasts would love to see Clarkson, Hammond, and May continue on making car videos. Like your favorite pint of beer, you don’t want it to end ever. Every February there has to be a Super Bowl. But even with the NFL’s immensely enormous popularity, who can say for certain American football will still be around in a few decades?

Father Time is undefeated, of course. No one wants to see an obese Clarkson on these prolonged road trips in third world countries. He himself probably can’t handle the stress any longer. People age out of their profession (like NFL players), it is what it is.

Clarkson did remarked in One for the Road that one of the reason he is retiring from the job is that he cannot get excited about electric cars. And those are the future, isn’t it? I very much agree with Clarkson. I think electric vehicles are fantastic for urban driving duties. The fact they don’t emit any greenhouse gas in our city environment is a huge win.

However, there’s no romance in electric cars.There’s no quirks to give them flavor, unique mechanical layouts to bring about varying dynamics. They all sound the same, too. The whirl of an electric motor doesn’t exactly tingle the spine. A crescendo that never arrives.

Clarkson and co can’t do an epic road trip in used EVs. Soon as one breaks down, you have to call a tow truck, and that is the end of the program. There’s no fixing it on the side of the road like an internal combustion car. The fire risk with batteries is too huge to perform stunts with EVs. The amount of water to put out an electrical fire is apparently way too much.

Never mind that plenty of countries and locales don’t have the infrastructure to support vehicle charging.

With these two headwinds of advancing age and lack of enthusiasm for modern new cars, it’s no wonder Clarkson, Hammond, and May are hanging up their proverbial hats. Hang their jerseys up on the rafters; these three (and their entire crew) have provided us with many tremendous hours of motoring entertainment. Cheers.

Modern disease.

Art for art's sake

Amazon’s The Grand Tour - a car show featuring the intrepid trio of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May - released its latest episode a few weeks back. Named Sand Job, the premise is same as ever: take three used cars and drive them over a very long distance. Insert some manufactured shenanigans along the way. It’s been the same recipe since the trio was with BBC’s Top Gear, and yet we still watch every time a new episodes drops.

I tune in because the cinematography remains as beautiful as ever. The Grand Tour’s production value is immense. It’s turned into a sort of Planet Earth documentary, but with cars. Each episode is a showcase of an exotic locale that I would likely never step foot upon. Sand Job takes viewers to the Islamic Republic of Mauritania. A country that I have to admit I cannot pin on a map of Africa before watching. The drone shots of the Sahara desert is spectacular. And not once can you see the drone’s (or helicopter?) casted shadow. The attention to detail is to the maximum.

The car shenanigans is almost secondary to the motion-picture technicality, at least for me. There’s the usual explosions, cars breaking down, a drag race, and pranking James May. It’s all been done before, and I hope the trio continues to do so for at least a few more years. (Looks like this is the second to last episode in the series. Kind of sad!) They are getting up there in age, and none of them seem to care much in the taking care of their body department. What’s with guys getting to middle age and growing a large pot belly? (They are otherwise skinny without it.) A prolonged lack of a clean diet and exercising, surely.

In a world of Youtube car content - of which there is plenty - is there still room for The Grand Tour? I hope so, simply on the count of its splendid cinematography. Art for art’s sake! Let’s see if Amazon is willing to continue subsidizing such a series. Especially after it has reportedly lost a ton of millions on The Lord of the Rings…

View fullsize

Going home to god.