Wedding bell blues

This past Sunday was the wedding day of my very good friend. For reasons I’ve detailed in a previous post, I was not able to attend the festivities. And honestly I was quite down about it, because the whole situation was kind of arbitrary. Superficial reasons prevented me from going. The fears of missing out was completely real.

I felt slightly better once I found out another groomsmen also could not make it to the wedding. Misery loves company, you know. It was also due to something beyond his control, but somewhat more tangible than my situation: he caught COVID. There wasn’t enough elapsed days to not be contagious. So unfortunately for my good friend, he was down two out of the original three groomsmen.

A mad scramble ensued to find replacements. And then there was the matter of getting suits remeasured and altered with a week’s notice. Thankfully the suit rental shop accommodated the sudden changes with zero issues. As for the replacements, another friend of ours stepped up - in my place - super clutch. The duties of a groomsman were considerable, so to pinch-hit like that in such short timeframe was hugely commendable. Paradoxically, I babysat for that friend on wedding day, freeing him to actually perform those duties.

I guess in that way I got to participate and help out after all.

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Just me and the kids.

Death of a grandmother

Thursday night, my maternal grandmother passed away. It’s something the family have anticipated for awhile now, so the news wasn’t too shocking. Probably more relief than anything: grandmother is not suffering anymore. Ever since she took a nasty fall back in early April and then later diagnosed with lung cancer, she’s been in a palliative care situation ever since. She’s a fighter for sure, a long and tough 89 years of life. May the deity in the sky rests her soul.

I largely owe my current existence here in America to my grandmother. She brought my mom and dad over here from China on a family visa. How completely different my life would have been had we stayed in China instead. An alternative timeline not worth pondering about. I’m just grateful and thankful my grandmother made this timeline possible.

Due to ongoing COVID-related restrictions, I’ve long said my official goodbyes to grandmother some months back. The facility permits one visitor at a time, no longer than 30 minutes. Said visitor needs a same-day negative rapid test, and has to fully suit-up with protective gear. Because of that, it was more prudent for my mother and her siblings to do a rotation of sorts. Most of the grandkids visited once and that was it.

Due to Chinese cultural superstition, I now cannot attend my good friend’s - who is Chinese - wedding next Sunday. It is considered very unlucky to partake in celebratory events, until the deceased is properly buried and funeral rites performed. That won’t happen for my grandmother until the Sunday after next. So it is with great disappointment that I had to inform my friend I will be bowing out of wedding party duties.

He and I probably don’t care at all about superstitions, but our parents certainly do. It’s a shame and slightly unfair that I have to miss once-in-a-lifetime (you’d hope!) life milestone of a good friend. Simply to appease the spirits of our dead ancestors. Honestly, I am a bit mad about it.

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Playtime.

For the kids

It is wedding season! I attended one in may, and now another is coming up in three weeks for one of my best friends. I will be in the wedding party for that wedding, so it'll be an all-day production of endless ceremony. Good news is I took that week off from work so I can see to wedding business with leisure. What we don't want is to cram everything into the day before.

This past weekend, the groom and groomsmen went to a shop for renting our suits. I was all prepared to simply wear my bespoke black suit - with whatever colored tie to match the bridesmaids dresses - but the groom wanted a different color. We ended up with a dark navy, which in my opinion is only slightly off the side of black in terms of typicalness. If I were the type to have to wear suits on the daily, I'd probably own a navy-colored suit already.

It's good to see inflation hasn't yet reached to the suit rental industry. The entire kit - jacket, shirt, pants, vest, and shoe - is only $217. That's not bad at all, though perhaps we're getting a multi-order discount. It's far cheaper than custom tailoring a suit that I will only wear maybe once a year. The shop is even on my side of town, so I won't need to use too much pricey gasoline to pickup and return. Petrol is still $6.99 per gallon in my area!

I am very excited for the wedding, and happy for my friend who's finally tying the knot, moving on to the next stage of life. Replete with an albatross of an hefty mortgage around the neck, of course! Housing cost around here may be insane, but if you are dead-set to stay in this one place for at least the next 30 years, it's a worthy and necessary life expense.

A house is for the kids.

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You already know what it is.