Babysitting — Blog

Wedding bell blues

This past Sunday was the wedding day of my very good friend. For reasons I’ve detailed in a previous post, I was not able to attend the festivities. And honestly I was quite down about it, because the whole situation was kind of arbitrary. Superficial reasons prevented me from going. The fears of missing out was completely real.

I felt slightly better once I found out another groomsmen also could not make it to the wedding. Misery loves company, you know. It was also due to something beyond his control, but somewhat more tangible than my situation: he caught COVID. There wasn’t enough elapsed days to not be contagious. So unfortunately for my good friend, he was down two out of the original three groomsmen.

A mad scramble ensued to find replacements. And then there was the matter of getting suits remeasured and altered with a week’s notice. Thankfully the suit rental shop accommodated the sudden changes with zero issues. As for the replacements, another friend of ours stepped up - in my place - super clutch. The duties of a groomsman were considerable, so to pinch-hit like that in such short timeframe was hugely commendable. Paradoxically, I babysat for that friend on wedding day, freeing him to actually perform those duties.

I guess in that way I got to participate and help out after all.

First time babysitting

I have found the secret to babysitting.

This past Friday, my friends had a wedding to attend, so I volunteered to look after their two young boys for a few hours (ages three and five). I’ve known these kids since they were born, so their familiarity with me should make for a pretty smooth evening. And indeed it was. The boys didn’t care at all that both parents will be gone for awhile. I guess they’ve past that age of separation anxiety.

The secret to babysitting young kids is to provide them with your undivided attention. You can’t be on your phone or stare at a laptop screen the whole time while they’re playing by themselves. This isn’t a time to watch Netflix. My friend’s two boys like to have someone sit right next to them while they play with toys or watch something on the iPad. I was ready to react anytime they had a comment or wanted me to look at something.

Can’t do that while I’m scrolling through twitter endless on my iPhone! I think kids innately know whether you’re paying attention to them or not. It’s not something you can fake. That “uh huh” while you’re still looking at the laptop screen rings very hollow to a kid’s ears.

And that’s the sacrifice to having kids, isn’t it? The world you had previously: the social media, the TV shows, even conversation with your friends - those things are way in the back burner now. Giving time and attention to your kids is rule number one. Everything else almost don’t matter. Don’t be that pet owner who looks at his phone the whole time while walking the dog. That’s the commitment you chose.

There will come a time when the kids get old enough (teenage years) that they can be left alone for extend periods. Until then, the best way to be with kids is actually be with them, fully.